If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize