It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
