why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
