help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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