Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
