Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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