for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
