At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
