I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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