Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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