I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
