This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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