Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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