Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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