no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
