To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
