I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How does one acquire holy water?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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