umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
