What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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