had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
