U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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