I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize