...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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