One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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