this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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