i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
