so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i think we sleep fucked last night...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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