We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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