There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my sisters under your porch take her home
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
