Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
