Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
