she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
