Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
