girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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