are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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