i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Pants are for mortals
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
