Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize