do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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