We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
