ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
