i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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