That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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