I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Farmville is her only friend.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well I just put wine in my tea
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
