i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
