Tell her she can't have a vagina
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
