she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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