My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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