Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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