So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
