Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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