great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
