love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
