Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
