I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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