i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
