I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
