Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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