but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
