We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
