I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
