i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
