sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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