Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
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Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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