Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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