so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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