beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
