Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
